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Quest Journals

 Integrating Our Upgrades 

Full Moon in Scorpio - May 2017 - Integrating Our Upgrades
- or -
How to not lose your shit when you go through an ascension process
(and why it’s ok if you do)

We had a major transformational shift during this past weekend of upgrades, and upgrades I’ve found, can make us feel like we’re losing our shit. So, I created this article and video about, "How not to lose your shit through a transformational upgrade." It's by remaining centered and remembering that everything eventually comes full circle and trusting that Spirit will realign us and bring us through. 

When things are falling apart internally, quietly know that you will be brought back together. 

But we don’t always feel like this as we are defragmenting. We feel chaotic, out of balance, and off center. We feel that something is happening ‘to us’ instead of ‘for our growth.’ A way out is through remembering that these cycles happen to us continuously… though I am not sure we consciously can during these phases. In order to be put back together again we need to come apart completely, and the decent into chaotic energy seems to be a part of this process. Though perhaps through mindfulness and surrender, the ride can be a little less painful. 

During these ascension phases we are being flooded with undercurrents of emotion which are really deep purification processes that come up to the surface for healing. Then the best thing we can do if we are able, is to get out in nature. Commune, relax, restore, and pray. Ask for clarity. 

Sometimes we won’t even know what’s going on, we will just feel off center. We won’t know what’s clearing and healing because it’s happening in layers and in pieces. We will just feel off, not in balance, not quite right in our own skin. These are signs of an energetic upgrade, or to put it another way, a cleansing and a purging of outmoded and limited belief systems from our psyches. 

One of my first spiritual teachers was a lovely intuitive reader named George, and he told me once that as we grow on our path our spirit guides will also change, new ones will come and old ones may step back, and we will feel a bit disoriented during those times of transition. I think this is what happens when we experience these cosmic upgrades and realignments. The shifting of our Spirit Guides also happens around our birthdays, when we travel, or have important life events. 

Another way to come back into balance when we’re feeling fuzzy, and not 100% in our bodies is a great acupuncture session. During an upgrade is a really beautiful time to receive energy work, reiki healing, massage, or a sound healing session. Go to someone you really trust and allow them to create a space where you can drop back into your body. Go see a powerful intuitive healer and use the time to clear and take care of yourself.  

Sometimes our normal practices, such as our daily yoga and meditation practice won’t work as they usually do when we’re going through a shift in frequency and we have to change our routine. And that’s the thing, we have to trust if every stable thing we’ve ever known feels like it’s falling away and our energy seems to be just pouring out of our being.. we have to remember that it is part of a realignment and the fragmentation we’re experiencing is a part of a greater process that will bring us back stronger into our center. 

I remember years ago having the realization that when I lose my center it’s alright because when I find it again I will be stronger and have leveled up another rung up the spiral. Constantly 'spiraling upwards' as I heard Allyson Grey describe it. It’s a gift when we remember this during the defragmentation process. 

I’d also like to bring up the concept of a Shamanic Death. For a new life to be born (within a soul’s evolution during one lifetime) old psychic constructs must die. As these awarenesses arise, we must surrender and allow this greater transformation. To the extent that we are identified with those constructs, relationships, and roles as a part of ourselves, we will feel as though we ourselves are dying. Grief then, is a large part of this process. And if we are blessed, we will allow ourselves to take space and time for these deeper emotions to cycle through us and run their course. 

Understandably, not all of us have the down time where we can take time out and relax (some of us have children ;) ) and sometimes these deeper processes arise and hit us out of nowhere, and yet we still collectively are tasked with moving through these ascension upgrades and not having downtime makes it very difficult. 

But it’s important to maintain our connections to ourselves through nature, and take some time to have healing work done and rest when we need it. Paying attention, deeply, to what is actually going on through us, because when we listen and surrender we understand the lessons, and that is what shifts our energy. When we tune into the deeper messages that our souls, angels, guides, and ancestors are sending to us, we will feel the transmutation take place. 

Then by releasing the old frequencies and transmuting them into new awarenesses we come back into alignment. We are reborn like the phoenix, into a new phase of growth. Constantly spiraling up. This is the ascension process. 

And each little shift we make is a part of a larger process, and each larger cycle creates our spiritual journey. So a large part of, "How not to lose our shit" while we go through each little shift is to remember that this is a process and to trust the process.

Trust the process of life, trust the process of realignment, and remember this message next time you’re feeling off center or like you’re not in your body. 

If you’re wondering what 'not being in your body' feels like, it feels like you’re subtly disconnected from yourself and it makes it hard to ground or do practical, everyday, 3D type things. You will feel fuzzy and off-center. When we learn to get into our bodies fully we are able to show up, be present, and really engage with each other. We are also much better at doing business and 3D practical stuff! 

Some of us who are beings of multidimensional consciousness leave our bodies very often and tend to float above ourselves. Grounding and rooting can be painstaking initially, but once we learn to embody ourselves fully we can truly be vessels for source energy to move through us and serve the world with love. We are empowered to stand up for ourselves and be present here on Earth and deliver our consciousness, gifts, and talents to the world. 

Rainbow Warriors are like The Star card in the Tarot. We are here to be bridges of beautiful, intergalactic dimensions of universal light, love, and higher consciousness and bring these frequencies to our survival based, instinctual, 3D world. We are here to be shining examples of spiraling up, Rainbow Warriors of the Light, and depict what it means to embody the higher realms and reach transcendent states. We are here to teach the integration of all things through universal consciousness, and deliver these truths in such a way the greater consensus reality will hear us... as we offer, in service, our gifts to an audience and a culture that is more and more ready to receive.

I hope this serves you. 

Aho. Namaste. And So it is. 

In love, light, and warrior spirit, 

Michelle Infinity


If you would like a reading, healing, or counseling session, please reach out to me at I’d love to hear from you and give you tips and tools on grounding, getting back into your body, and coming into greater vibrational wholeness. 


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In Love, Light, and Warrior Spirit,

Michelle Infinity
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My mission is to walk in beauty, to live in tune with the cosmic rhythms of the earth and sky and provide healing tools for others to do the same. I restore harmony by helping people attune and connect to their own inner wisdom through my ritualistic healing work. Through prayer, song, my intuitive counseling practice, sharing conscious writings, media, and visual art, I am here to awaken others to the Infinite in Everything.

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