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I write to remember.
I remember because I write.
Time and time again, if we listen closely, we can hear the universe whispering to us… gently guiding us towards memories we have forgotten… memories from another time… another place… another experience…another dimension...
You see… in the midst of all the moments that I have lived in this life (time) so far, there have been various particular moments in which previously unknown parts of my character have been revealed to myself. Sometimes blatantly, sometimes subtly, sometimes just with clues…
Through these moments I step into another layer of personal awareness of self. They reflect a deeper part of my character, and perhaps more importantly - they point me towards the direction of who I came here to become this time around, and the duty that comes with that choice. Like finding shards of a larger crystal... Like clues planted by myself to find and understand when the time was right. Concepts and ideas that extend beyond this life time…and dimension... Like unlocking dormant memories that up until that point were intentionally hidden from myself - as part of my path - as part of my journey. Had these aspects of myself been revealed to me earlier, it may have altered my learning process. Instead, by having these aspects slowly returning to me over time, it allows me to remain focused, humble, curious, and determined within the present.
Some of these aspects of my self have been hidden in plain site...
Today, I had a moment in which a novel idea that came to me resonated as a potential deeper truth that for me fits appropriately into the puzzle known as I AM. A personal paradigm shift...
But before I share my latest thoughts, I will give you just one other example that some already know of…
Our names are more than just names. Are names are something I believe can be intentionally chosen by us from a non-linear perspective. Yes my parents chose my name - but did THEY really choose it? Right, the universe choose it - the same universe that I am and we are. The bigger non-linear us. The name I choose for myself is no accident…
For now, I will tell you quickly about my middle name and last name and the interesting aspects of myself that they reveal (to myself and others.) My full name is Brendon Randall Culliton. Growing up for many years I never looked too much into my middle name. For awhile I was never even super fond of it. Randall kinda sounded like a funny name to me. Though named after my great-grandfather, I was still happy to have it. Flash forward through my years as a young adult, time and time again I found myself drawn to the concept of the wolf. Not only did I like wolves, but I felt like one. Be it in the sense of a lone-wolf, but also in the sense of wolves being very focused on community, leaders, facilitators of tradition, carriers of ancient wisdom, loyalty, strong, agile, mysterious, and much more. I would look up the meaning of the wolf in books I'd find in stores about animal totems, and I would commonly be like "Yup, that's me. I'm a wolf. I am wolf-like." And so flash forward some more, through the years as I begin creating Paradigm Shift, and all of my actions - without trying to be anything more than who I was - were all very wolf-like.
And so then flash forward to about 2011. For what ever reason, up until that point, I hadn't really looked up the meaning of my middle name. I don' t know why - I just honestly hadn't. But - as I mentioned earlier - it had to happen at the right time. And so there I was, opening up a new tab, loading up google and typing "meaning of Randall". And before I even hit enter, the thought already crossed my mind….oh fuck…it's gonna be something about a wolf. I hit enter. And there it was. Randall - dating back to viking origins - meaning: wolf. shield. Wolf-shield… that was my name… son of a cosmic bitch… universe… well played. Well fucking played.
And so that was that. From that moment forward, I understood why I felt a connection to the wolf energy and archetype. It wasn't something I was imagining. It was something already inside of me. It was an energy I had been carrying my entire life. And now that it was revealed to me - I was called into asking what I would do with it. And so, with only the obvious choice in front of me - I honoured it. I embody it. I will become more of who I am, I will listen to the teachings of the wolf. I will be the Wolf-Shield. And this is still something I am learning from this day… what does it mean to be the Wolf-Shield...
And so, that was my middle name. Again, to me this experience is in some ways evidence that points towards all of us existing as non-linear multi-dimensional beings. We choose our names, to help us remember who we are. Perhaps some of us carry more potent clues within our names than others - but I leave that for you to explore.
So yes, that is the case of my middle name and what it revealed to me about who I came here to be. And in similar theme, I will tell you about my last name also. Culliton is an Irish name, and I only found out within this last year that at its roots it means 'sleeper', or clan of sleepers. To me, without needing to flex it too much, I see sleeper as being synonymous with dreamer. And so to me - that was another synch - one too close to ignore. There it was - my last name was pointing me towards the concept of being a carrier of the energy of the dreamers. And needless to say, those who have come to know me - know that dreaming, lucid dreaming, and awakening within the dream is something I have been promoting and passionate about for years - long before I knew my last name had any connection to the concept. So what does it mean, to be a wolf leader amongst the clan of dreamers? Indeed - that's the question I and us are living as we speak.
Now those are just two examples, but there is one more that I want to share - the one that I was thinking about today and sent an activation sensation up my spine….
Long before my names, there was another clue that I carried with me. One that I was well aware of. One hidden in plain site, so obvious as if to be overlooked…
Our bodies…. our bodies hold clues of lives we have lived before. For example some people talk about how birthmarks are wounds of past lives. And yes, I do have a very particular birth mark that ties into this concept, but I am not talking about that right now. What I want to point out is something many of you have already seen, and yet many more of you have probably over never noticed. Since a young age, I did not shy away from playing around with the idea that I was part elf. I would tell people it as a joke, but deep inside, the concept felt much more real…. The reason behind this was simple. My left ear is pointed like an elf ear. Now again, anyone can dismiss it as being unimportant, just an extra piece of skin, ya-da yard, no big deal, because right, after all, elves are just made up fantasy...
…..or are they?
Earlier today while cutting the grass I was listening to a great episode of one of my favourite podcasts - Mysterious Universe (Click here for exact episode link). Within the episode there was a segment in which they had various people talking about encounters they had had with fairy folk. The concept of fairy folk has always been of interest to me for multiple reasons. To put it simply - I believe that our concept of them points to the idea of the multi-dimensional aspect of this reality and that indeed there are, and always have been, other intelligence that exist within the same shared space as us yet at a different dimension which makes them invisible to most people most of the time. One woman spoke about the idea that within Icelandic culture this concept is not unusual at all - just merely dismissed or forgotten by many. She spoke about how there are many different types of fairy folk, who come in different sizes - many of which who are more or less just like humans. They live lives, have families, and are share a common theme of having a deep connection with nature and the real magic of this world.
It was at that point that the thought came to me. You know - all this time, time and time again, we have talked about reincarnation - we have even talked about the idea that maybe some of us have lived as different races from other planets, so forth and so on. And so, within this same concept - can we not assume that perhaps some of us have even lived pervious life times as some of this fairy folk?
Son of a bitch… the dots were connecting. I had always half joked about being part elf, I have always felt a connection to elves, I have always had a connection to nature and concepts of magic, I have always resonated with characters like Link from Legend of Zelda... So maybe the reason my ear is the way it is is because I made it like that to remind me (to plant the thought seed) of my connection to a previous life time I have experienced within the dimension of the fairy folk… It sounds crazy, it sounds fantastical, it sounds like wishful thinking…and yet … it sounds…..theoretically plausible within this hyperdelic reality…
Maybe I don't need to straight up joke about being part elf. But what does it actually mean to be an elf-human hybrid? It means (theoretically) that I carry with me the past experiences and latent memories and teaches and wisdom of this fairy folk world with me into this realm as a human. I am neither half elf, or half human. I have the experience of a full elf, as a full human. A hybrid. (Something that I can rightfully assume more of us are too.)
Though for me, there was more to it. You see, within this same podcast one of the fellows was talking about how he had stumbled upon entire culture of these fairy folk, and another fellow talked about how for him he was contact by them within his dreams. Now, I have heard stories of fairy folk before - and these stories have been inspiration I have incorporated into some of the Guided Journey Meditation broadcasts we have done. Most notably the one that we did just the previous Sunday in which I told a very similar story to the one shared by the fellow in the podcast. (Click here to listen to that journey meditation.) The idea was starting to form in my mind… If……IF I had lived a previous incarnation as a fairy folk, and I chose to come here to this dimension - what would I want to do? I would want to be the bridge…. I would remind people of the idea that these world exists, and these people and intelligences exist… and they have knowledge and teachings about this reality to share with us… to live in harmony with us. And well, wouldn't you know it - that's exactly what I have already begun doing…and what I will continue to do.
So that's the trip. Regardless of whether or not I actually am an elf-human thingamajig, I am still going to keep doing what I feel called to do - teaching and inspiring people about the real magic of this world.
What happens when more of us connect with our inner-elf ... our higher-(s)elf?
And so it feels right and exciting that this idea suddenly clicked for me now, at this moment in my life - one in which I feel i am ready to investigate the concept further and seek more understanding about it.
How I plan to do this is through the dream space and other means. I believe that there is a world and an experience within my dreams waiting for me. And by writing this here, it is my projected intention to myself and the universe to say that I am openly seeking it. Every night when we dream we enter back into the space where all of these many worlds can meet together. And so, I feel that there are some familiar elves whom I would like to speak with, and learn from. This is opening up a new path of truth for me. A new path of adventure, and potential. To remember and connect with more of who I am, who I was within the dimension of the elves, and why I chose to come here and be who I am now. A path that is calling me to the dream space, to earn lucidity and direct my focus to this place. A path to be a journalist of my experience within these realms. I seek a path that exists beyond just theory - I seek a path of knowing through my own experience…
This elf is ready to return, and to be of service ...to be the bridge. Between this world… and another.
If you are interested in hearing more about this topic of elves and such, you can listen to the discussion we had in the Team Building Hangout the day after I wrote this, in which we talked as a group about the realities of fairies, elves, and how we can integrate this concept into our understanding of the world around us and ourselves. The conversations is throughout the broadcast, but in particular towards the later half.
Click here to download the conversations as an mp3. Length 2h40m.