So I had this dream that there was this mechanism through which we could heal ourselves and that mechanism was this awareness of a fear or issue or whatnot and then like actually going into it from this really clear perspective of like meditation on it and then once you have the action that needs to be taken as a result of the meditation you go to the destination and once you meet the destination when you get there you meet the experience that needs to be had. And in having it consciously you’ll get the reward of being healed. There was this space where I was like trapped in this cyclical cycle of like fear behavior and I got this clarity and I was let out. There was something to do with Hermann Hesse. I was like upstairs and I got to go downstairs when I...when I let go I like, I let go of being attached to something that needed to be fixed. There was this notion of like each creature receiving their mate as a form of healing.
There was a point where I was [My most recent ex] and I was in this “hospital” and they wanted to medicate me just because I wanted to take a knee instead of sitting in the chair because it was more comfortable. I was waiting for my time to “see the matrix” is what I want to say, to clearly be informed of what bred one aspect of my insanity. [Another ex] was in my dream, I wanted to teach him the mechanism. He wasn’t very responsive, he wanted a simple application and he wasn’t reading all the guidelines. My brother was there too, he was holding space.