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I am going to use this first post to introduce Jaclyn… I feel as though I was very awake as a child. I had a very vivid imagination, I was smart, insightful, and always questioned the authority of adults and their “system” because it didn’t seem to fit. I often had dreams and interacted with what I now think were spirit guides, angels, ghosts, or just entities without a physical body. I feel I was more in touch with the higher realms and more sensitive to their power.
I grew up in a southern Catholic household, so you can imagine my family was always very religious and traditional. I was discouraged from ever venturing outside of what was expected, especially when it came to subjects that questioned the authority of “God” and the Bible. Talking about any of the “New Age” concepts and information or tools like tarot cards and Ouija boards or using words like the “third eye” was considered evil. I grew up living in a reality where if I “sinned” I would go to a place called Hell. If my mind ever wondered away from Jesus or God I was doomed to fire and brimstone for all eternity. The thought of reincarnation or realities outside of religion was forbidden. I lived in what I still think of as a prison where diverse thoughts are forbidden and thinking with your own mind was considered evil. I was taught that you must be obedient and asleep.
I was conditioned to think The System was all there was. The Matrix was only a movie. Fairy tales aren’t real. What you see is what you get-- I knew deep inside none of that was true. I was always attracted to stories pertaining to fantasy and what people call “fiction” because THIS reality wasn’t real. I always knew that something wasn’t right. I always knew there was something more…
I started working for a big oil company a few years back. My family was so proud that I got that corporate job everyone wants to have. I was going to be successful. I was going to be an integral part of The System. I was going to go down that path that everyone said was such an eminent conduit to life. The path of life…. For whom exactly? I started realizing that I no longer had control of the reins. I was blindfolded, going somewhere… and I had no idea how I got there. Was I asleep??
I really started waking up once I realized I no longer had control and wondered how long it had been since I lost it. I started researching and finding out so many aspects of life that had been kept from me all these years. There was so much information that it was almost too much to bear. I needed to look within myself. I started avoiding the subjects of negativity and separation and started promoting more love. I started meditating, doing yoga, and eating a cleaner diet. I have not mastered these yet, but it is a work in progress.
So, am I awake? Am I awake within this dream and know that I am in this dream awake to the reality of the dream? I have had dreams, I had had my dreams crushed, I have been in a nightmare, and I have realized that I have been creating this dream even when I was “asleep” in the dream. I realize that there does not have to be an explanation for everything. Things just are. We can just be. There is no normal and there is no such thing as time. These petty thoughts are just reflections of the human slave, not the infinite soul within this human vessel that I was slowly discovering.
The part I am still trying to figure out is how to take on all the information I have tapped into and all the portals I have opened for myself and make it MY reality. Be the change I want to see in the world. Have no expectations. Learn how to just be. Determine how to manifest my own reality. I am still a part of the old system, and I know what I need to do. I am still shaking off that fear we all know isn’t real. I have not had any many experiences that would be considered metaphysical, but I have always had this sense of knowing. And the more I uncover, the more I realize how much I already know.
I am so fortunate to have stumbled across one of Brendon’s interviews. I had been watching BridgET Nielsen’s YouTube channel and it suggested that I check it out. Now I am here, manifesting my reality with this group of wonderful souls. Thank you for the opportunity to share my story. I would love to share some of my poetry here as well.
Namaste and much love from Texas!