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Ron's Posts (11)

To read my previous Quest Journals of my experiences, you can browse my profile at


I arrived on the sacred land around 8am. I saw that the facilitators were making space for the ceremony to take place outside.

I’m usually freezing during ceremony so I laid down my stuff in the warmest spot possible. Next to the fire pit where there was no shade make me colder than I already knew I would be.

A healer began to talk near the fire pit while everyone was finishing setting up their spots. She was talking about letting go of attachments. Letting go of religious dogmas and the thought of “going to hell”. Letting go of your “status” in life and to get out of your own way. Stop trying to control it and allow the experience to happen. She looked me directly in the eye and said so find a comfortable place to sit and let yourself “go”.

The smudging soon began and everybody was covered head to toe in Sage smoke. Moments after that all the participants took the first dose of medicine. I held the dose in my hand and I asked Aya to show me she was real, “please show me your face” I said inside my head. I then drank the dose, the taste was disgusting as ever but I did not feel nauseous.

This time I brought a back jack to help me to sit up during ceremony. I remained sitting up and I shook my rattle to the drumming and native chants being sung. I closed my eyes and I could start to see the fog of what I call “the veil”. I thought I was going to start seeing visions so I put on my “mindfold” (a blindfold which has space so your eyelids can remain open in total darkness) and I laid down. It’s also known as a “meditation mask”.

At first I saw some fractals which turned into crystallized stars. My attention then went to the sun which at the time had peeked over the trees. The sun rays felt very cozy and warm, which was nice for a change because like I said usually I’m freezing during ceremony. I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

In what I thought was a dream I saw a huge flower. It was magenta with a bright orange glow. There was no background accept the crystallized stars within a void. The flower then slowly morphed into a hawk totem.

The totem grew in size, it got bigger and bigger. I felt myself needing to purge so took my “mindfold” off and grabbed my bucket to vomit. Nothing came out. I felt very nauseous and I know I needed to purge but when I tried nothing would happen. It felt like the purge was locked in my chest. I hovered over the bucket and drank more water.

Eventually a healer kneeled down next to me. I told her “I’m trying to purge but nothing is happening.” She told me to remember the conversation we had earlier. She then asked me “what is your attachment?” I thought for a moment then I replied “I don’t know” She immediately walked away.

Now thinking back, the healer may have seen that somebody else needed immediate attention or something. I don’t know but during the ceremony everything feels like it’s revolving around me. So during the ceremony I thought I said the wrong answer.

Shortly after she left, I purged. It was a very small amount of vomit and nothing interesting was in the bucket afterward like previous journeys I’ve had. There was nothing black or crawling around. It just looked like average vomit. As usual I felt so much better and the nausea was fading. I laid back down and closed my eyes.

Almost immediately after my eyes closed, I saw a dark swirl appear before me. It was black like a shadow. The dark swirl turned into a figure which looked like a entity made of “black ink” laughing at me. I could not hear it but I could see its silhouette laughing at me as it was dancing.

My attention was then brought to its hand; it started to turn into the form of a gun. It danced the gun up to it’s head and nodded like it was telling me to do the same. I immediately opened my eyes.

The sun was directly over my head, it was as if a giant spot light was shining directly into my eyes. I envisioned myself in the emergency room and what I thought was the sun, had actually been a doctor shining a flashlight into my pupils, trying to wake me up out of a comma.

I immediately knew that was a path of fear I did not want to go down. I did not want to argue with myself what was real and what was not during the journey. That kind of thinking creates a thought loop which is one way that the “ego” tries to prevent the journey from happening. It tries to convince the participant that they are losing their mind.  I’ve entertained these thoughts before and the result was not pleasant.

My logical mind thought this because I was looking directly into the light and it did not hurt my eyes. If it was the sun, my eyes would have surely squinted as usual. At this point I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming. I stared directly into the sun and I could see it’s perfect roundness. It was a perfect circle.

As I continued starring at the sun, I noticed an eyeball forming at it’s center. Eventually the sun became one giant eyeball looking down on me. I told myself it was a hallucination and that the eyeball was not “real”. Soon my mind realized I was staring directly into the sun and I’m probably burning holes into my retina.

I closed my eyes and I saw the black ink was starting to form again. I was frightened from before so I opened my eyes and was met once again by the glaring eyeball sun. So I closed my eyes again. This went on for a while switching between realms. In this realm a giant eyeball looking down on me and in the other realm a “black ink entity” haunting me. Also the imagination “ego” mind was playing a game with me that I may actually be in a comma and that none of this is real.

My rational mind brought up the idea that I may be getting a severe sun burn because I’ve been out in the direct sun for hours (side note: I did not get a sun burn.) I got up and asked a volunteer I f I can be moved to the shade. Two volunteers helped me move to the shade and I laid back down.

I kept my eyes open and was staring at a big oak tree hovering over me. The leaves of the branches turned into animal faces. There were lions, apes, snails, bears, jaguars and many other faces of many different animals.

I then saw a shadow of something fly by out of the corner of my eye. I wasn’t sure what it was until it flew by again. I could see it was a hawk. It flew around the ceremony in a big circle. It was showing us the eyes under it’s wings. It was like it was reminding us that “Spirit” is watching us and we are all safe. It flew around the circle a few more times then it flew away.

I went back to looking at the faces in the trees and more faces appeared but this time they were more human looking. Not quite Homo sapiens but beings with human facial appearances. Some were half feline and half human. Some were apes wearing helmets. Some were men and women wearing hats made from plants and animal skins. I could only see them from the neck up.

As I was looking at the faces, I saw a shimmering wave reflect from the tree branches. When I focused my gaze upon the shimmering wave, I realized that they were spider webs. I looked around and saw that there were hundreds of spider webs hanging from the trees and that they had covered the ceremony circle and all it’s participants.

At first I got a little anxious because of my arachnophobia but I realized there were no spiders. “How can there be spider webs but no spiders?” I thought. Just then a flock of white butterflies flew by and I thought they were going to get caught in the spider webs but they didn’t. They flew around the circle for a bit then they fluttered away into the forest.

I then saw something dangling over my head I thought it may be a spider slowly crawling its way towards me. I was about to get up and move when I noticed that it was green and had no legs. I focused on it and realized it was a silkworm hanging from a thread of silk that was swinging gently with the subtle breeze. I noticed there were more and they were covering the ceremony circle with silk. It felt like they were blessing the circle, it was very pleasant.

After realizing there was no spider infestation, I went back to starring at the tree branches. This time I saw a very pretty woman’s face. I stared for a while then a healer approached me. She asked if the trees were communicating with me. I nodded and said “I can see faces”. She patted my shoulder then moved on.

Moments later the sun found me again. I did not want to ask to be moved to the shade again so I closed my eyes and let the sun beat down on me. I then saw a shadow of something fly by me. I opened my eyes and saw a flock of butterflies fluttering around the circle again. They fluttered up into a tree that was on the other side of the circle.

 I felt the desire to go sit under that tree so I asked a volunteer if I could. She helped me to walk to the tree and I sat against it’s trunk. The tree trunk felt warm and furry. I could feel it’s warm energy on my back. It almost felt like I was melting into the tree.

I looked at the thicket of bushes in front of me. I saw the pretty woman’s face again. This time it was larger and much more detailed. She had a slight smile and I could feel a loving energy. I’m not sure what this spirit was because it did not tell me but I felt like it was the spirit of Mother Nature, Aya the spirit of the plants the healers refer to her as Pancha Mama.

I was very grateful she showed me her face; I had asked her before the ceremony to do so. I admit it was not as overwhelming as I thought it would be but maybe that was the best way I could handle seeing her face at that moment. I was still getting in my own way during the ceremony and my own fear held me back. Maybe she was in the other realm waiting for me but my own fear prevented me from meeting with her there. Maybe she came to this realm to send me some love in a visual way that my mind could accept in this realm with my eyes open. Also by this time the main effects of medicine had worn off and people were already standing up and talking.

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I felt something crawling near me. I looked down and saw that it was a furry black caterpillar. I looked around and saw that here were hundreds of them all over the ground.

It was interesting because during one ceremony I saw the silk worms hanging from above, the caterpillars crawling from below and the butterflies fluttering in between. It was like “spirit” was teaching me about metamorphosis through the tree of life. The big oak trees were representing the symbol of the “tree of life” of my Celtic and Germanic ancestors. The caterpillars at the tree’s roots, the silkworms in the leaves and the butterflies fluttering between. It was like the message was for me to accept my metamorphosis and become like the butterfly that can flutter to the lower, middle and upper realms.

The hawk also showed up in my journey both in this realm and the other realm. At this website it talks about the hawk totem.

Hawk continued. "Spirit wants nothing more than for you to take their messages and apply them to your life, grounding them. Some people just float around up there and hear them but don't do anything about it. Some others are so grounded that they can't hear a thing."

I feel that the silk worms represent the people who hear the messages but not do anything with them. The furry black caterpillars represent the people that are so grounded that they don’t hear a thing. The butterflies represent those that listen to “spirit” and applies it to their lives.

Be the butterfly! – A ho

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Shamanic Medicine Journey #4 (Santo Daime)

This one may be a little scary but remember she gives us what we need, not necessarily what we want. I definitely needed this to get over my fear. Like a parent opening the closet to show their child that there is nothing to fear in the dark closet.

I have been taking her medicine every month since. It is a calling and I have definitely been called. This was close to a year ago. I stopped counting after 10 ceremonies. It is now a very important part of my life and spiritual journey. I will be slowly posting more ceremonies as I feel guided to do so. Please read with an opened mind and enjoy.

Shamanic Medicine Journey #4 (Santo Daime)

This circle was a little different than the previous circle. This was a Brazilian ceremony. I was in a land far away at a place called “The Church of Santo Daime”. The sacrament they used was the same shamanic brew I’ve had before. This church invited Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Pachamama, Wakan Tanka, all our most benevolent and loving ancestors, plant spirits, animal spirits and the ascended masters to journey together with all the participants.
There was a traditionally initiated shaman and a monk serving the Daime to the participants after saying the Lord’s Prayer. They were assisted by other healers called “guardians”. There were about 60 participants.
As I drank the Daime, It tasted just as disgusting as the previous brew but exactly the same. I felt like vomiting right away but I knew I needed to let it settle so I willed it in. After everyone was served, we all sat down and shared our intention for the ceremony. When it was my turn to share, I said that I would like to know who I really am. I was barely about to share that little because at this point I felt very nauseous.
I heard a man behind me purging and this made me feel like vomiting more. The circle had barely finished sharing every participant’s intentions when I could not hold in my vomit any longer. I grabbed a bucket and purged all that I thought I had to vomit.
I then heard the singing of what I now know as “hymnos” which are traditional songs of the Santo Daime Church. My monkey mind took over and I felt that these people were trying to hypnotize me to go back to “Christianity” (I couldn’t have been more wrong.”) I called out to my loving ancestors and helpful animal spirits for help. I called out to the Great Eagle Spirit in particular.
By this time it sounded like everyone was purging. The shaman had started to sing his icaros which sounded horrifying. He played an accordion which opened a portal filled with squares. It looked kind of like a stretched out web. I pictured in my head exorcisms happening to people all around me. With my eyes closed I saw a kaleidoscope of evil faces, like ethereal bugs with sharp teeth. I got frightened and opened my eyes.
When I opened my eyes I saw 2 “guardians” that were standing near me. It seemed like when they saw that my eyes were open, disappointment filled their faces. I felt like I was about to score a goal but I didn’t kick the ball. The guardians slowly walked away.
I wanted to keep my eyes open but I couldn’t. My eyelids felt too heavy. The moment I closed my eyes I saw that the horrifying kaleidoscope was back. I could still hear possessions happening to participants all around me. My monkey mind came back and I thought about how if I went to sleep, I would wake up thinking my family and friends were all reptiles and that this world would be worse than before. That somehow I would be tricked into harming those I loved.
I heard the shaman going around to the struggling participants with feathers. I could hear him flapping his feathers vigorously around them, clearing out the negative energy. I could hear the healers praying both in English and other languages, some not of this world. I could also hear the shaman had a bird whistle. That when he flapped the feathers to clear the negative energy, he also blew a whistle which sounded like a bird. (or so I thought). The bird had a very high pitch chirp; almost like a laser. I assumed it was a whistle that the shaman was using.
I tried to “will” the visions into beauty but no success. I opened my eyes again and I saw that the same 2 guardians were there standing over me. This time they looked even more disappointed. I felt nauseous again and I tried to vomit but nothing came out. I drank water but still nothing was being purged.
I asked for more medicine but when the guardian tried to take my bucket away to give me another dose of the sacrament, I felt the purge come back up. The guardian told me that if I still needed to purge than I needed to hold off on the second dose for now. I knelt back down over my bucket and tried to purge again but nothing would come out. I drank all my water but still could not vomit. I still felt nauseous but laid down anyway and closed my eyes.
I could hear what sounded like bones snapping from a possessed participant. I heard the main healer ask everyone who was aware to call out to their spirit guides, spirit animals and loving ancestors to be present in the circle and to assist those possessed.
I could hear much more purging going on with other participants. The horrifying kaleidoscope was still presented in front of me but at this point I felt more comfortable staring into a horrifying kaleidoscope than to get up and try vomiting nothing. As I watch the kaleidoscope I saw a demons face pop out. I woke up and asked one of the guardians to take me outside to get some air. He walked me outside and I got to bring my bucket with me.
I thought that seeing some trees and getting some fresh air would help me, like it would “ground” me somehow. I was wrong, the trees had never felt so distant before and I could not hear any birds and the air felt stagnant. The sun was very hot and dry.
Others were outside as well. There was another man there thanking his ancestors for such an amazing journey. I sat there and stared at my bucket. I don’t remember for how long I stared but I remember a woman came out and stood in front of me. She was facing the sun with her hands open at her sides. Her eyes were rolled to the back of her head and it appeared that she was receiving the sun’s energy.
I was kind of freaked out but honestly that was the least terrifying thing that I thought was going on that day. If she was possessed it was with love and not fear like the others inside. I could feel a comfort with her being there somehow.
I went back to staring at my bucket for a while when I felt a warm hand touch my back. I heard a man’s voice say “you are not alone.” I looked to see a man sitting there; he had glasses and a smile on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was real or a spirit guide. I nodded silently to him went back to my bucket.
I then heard some slamming noises going on nearby and 2 men were arguing. It sounded like they were about to fight. I looked around but saw nobody. I then heard a motorcycle go by but at the time it sounded like a demon’s growl. I saw that the man with glasses was kneeling at an altar to honor his spirit guides and ancestors. He did not seem bothered by the demonic growling I heard. I got up and went back inside.
As soon as I got inside I laid down and closed my eyes. I could still hear much purging going on but I tried to mentally shield myself from those hideous noises because they were affecting my journey. The Kaleidoscope came back and the demons face popped out but I stared at it anyway. It went back into the kaleidoscope and the kaleidoscope turned into an image of an intestine with eyeballs being squeezed of some type of green liquid.
I then felt like I was in a dungeon, that all those who were spiritually advanced enough had gone up to the higher realms and that those of us that stayed were now casted into a dungeon. I could hear all the men and women around me purging along with some horrifying sounds coming from their vocal cords. I heard one woman get up and lock herself in the bathroom. I could hear the guardians trying to force the door open to get her out. I heard the shaman chanting like he was in charge of torturing us spiritually. That we were all possessed and we now must wait our turn to have an exorcism.
Suddenly I heard a soft sounding guitar. It started out soft and gentle and it was the only thing pleasant in the dungeon I was in. I heard the guitar speed up and it somehow created a path. Like an ethereal “yellow brick road” I followed the road out of the dungeon and the road turned into a portal. I then felt the urge to vomit so I got up to purge but saw that everyone was dancing.
Here I was purging while everyone else was dancing. I was happy to finally vomit though. After I vomited I looked around and saw I was the only one still journeying. I thought to myself “where are all the others that I heard purging? Where are the ones that were possessed? I looked and saw nobody had locked themselves in the bathroom. I could hear the guitar that created the portal and it was the shaman playing while everyone was dancing. There were also drumming and clapping. I saw one man moving his body like liquid, I also so another man dancing like a monkey literally crouched down like a monkey. I saw the same woman from outside clapping and singing from across the room.
I could hear the healer calling out and encouraging us all to dance. I tried but I couldn’t stay standing for too long. Every time I tried to stand I would go back to my knees over the purge bucket vomiting. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted the medicine out. I even told the guardians that my body still needs to vomit up more medicine. That I needed to get the medicine out of my system. (I did not realize what I was saying.) I was moved to a private room where 2 healers worked with me.
I wanted to be out of my journey. I wanted to feel better so I could go home to be with my wife. I knew that if I came home any later, she would be worried. I chugged more water and vomited a little but it was still a struggle getting it out. A shaman worked with me by instructing me with breathing exercises. He then told me to keep breathing as he picked up a didgeridoo and placed it near my belly. He blew it loud and I could feel it’s vibration breaking up something inside of me. I finally purged up all the water I had drank. It seemed like a gallon of water. I was amazed to see that it was all clear, that no medicine was being purged from me.
I had the epiphany at that moment that the medicine stays in one’s body when they drink the sacrament. That what is being vomited is not the medicine but instead it is toxins and negative energies. The shamans are correct about the “purge”. I was purging water which no longer served me. I knew I needed to stop drinking because the medicine was not going to come out. I think the shaman knew this too because he told me I needed to rest and to release from my attachments.
I laid down and this time I allowed myself to go to sleep. I did think about how upset my wife would be when I didn’t come home that night but I realized that was something I would just have to accept. I had to accept that this was going to be an “overnight journey”. I had to face the fact that science has no idea what this divine plant medicine really is. The science may say that the journey lasts for 6 hours but in reality Pachamama (“Mother Earth”) decides when to end the journey. I finally accepted that in my heart and went to sleep regardless of the consequences I would face the next morning.
I slept for short while but I was awoken by the participants eating food and talking about their journeys. I felt much better so I got up and ate some food also. I felt a little nauseous but not nearly as much as before. It was more like a lingering memory of purging. I talked with some participants and hugged as many people as I could. I thanked all the guardians, healers and the shaman for helping me out and working with me personally. I especially thanked the 2 guardians that were there for me the entire journey. They were literally watching over me for hours. I am so grateful for these loving souls.
I finally did drive home and I felt fine doing so. I didn’t feel that my driving was affected as long as I stayed focused and my nausea was almost completely gone. However once I got home, my nausea kicked back in.
I arrived home an hour later than I said I would be and I expected my wife to be up waiting for me angrily but thankfully she was asleep. As I watched my wife and kids sleep for a minute I could feel my love for them expand to the point of tears of joy filling my eyes. I was so grateful for my family and I was so happy to be back with them at home.
I had a feeling, like an inner knowing that once I laid down and went to sleep that my nausea would fade. I thought about trying to vomit in the bathroom but decided to lay down instead. I wish I could say that I slept peacefully but I didn’t.
Every time I closed my eyes that horrific pattern would come back.  I would open my eyes and feel nauseated again. I rolled to my side in case I vomited in my sleep then I forced my eyes shut and told myself I would not open them no matter what I see.
So I closed my eyes and stared at the horrific kaleidoscope and eventually I did go to sleep. It seems that the journey can continue when in the “dream realm”. I’m starting to think they are the same realm but that is a whole other article in itself. Unfortunately I don’t remember what happened exactly but I do remember hearing a voice saying “welcome to hell!” followed by evil laughter.
I woke up and saw that the sun was rising through my curtains. I was so thankful to be alive and to be with my family. I spent the rest of the day drinking lime water and just allowing the medicine to work through my system. I did not try to vomit no matter how nauseous I felt. I also meditated a lot. The nausea finally diminished that evening.
When I went to bed that night I had the best sleep ever. I felt my energy body radiating. It felt like I was physically in another vibration, a higher vibration and I was floating. I could feel every cell in my body vibrating very intensely but very comfortably. Like a warm massage chair on the highest setting. I also remember having a conversation with a woman in a dream but I don’t remember what was said.
The next morning I felt wonderful. I had an abundance of energy that lasted throughout the day. I went to my garden, I could see that the colors were so vibrant and the flowers were glowing. I could hear so many birds chirping. It was like I was in a rainforest. I’ve never noticed so many birds visiting my garden. The birds would approach me much closer than before, it’s like they could sense that I was on a higher vibration. One bird in particular had the exact chirping sound that I heard during my ceremony. I noticed this bird would puff out it’s chest and ward off other birds and squirrels that would try approaching the garden fence. After some research, I later found this bird to be a “red robin”.
The thought occurred to me that maybe this was the bird spirit that was with me during the ceremony. That maybe it was communicating with me by showing me that it was warding off negative energy just like it was warding off other creatures in my garden.
As the bird flew overhead I heard it’s flapping sounded exactly like the flapping I heard during the ceremony. During the ceremony I thought it was the shaman with ceremonial feathers and a bird whistle but in my garden I heard the same noises and no shaman was present at the time. I either heard a bird from outside of the building with closed doors and windows and music playing and people purging. Or I heard a spirit. Whether it was the medicine enhancing my hearing so I could hear the bird outside or the medicine allowed me to hear a bird animal spirit is unknown to me. Either way it has drawn me closer to birds. I have a whole new love and respect for such amazing beings.
I meditated a lot on the events that happened over the weekend. I thought about how can one man play a guitar, sing icaros and use a bird whistle at the same time? It occurred to me that I did not see a whistle or anybody using a whistle, I only assumed there was one because it sounded like it was in the same room. It is quite possible that although I did not see any of my spirit guides, I heard them.
I meditated more on the horrifying kaleidoscope, why was I shown that? I asked a friend who is more experienced with the medicine. Integrating my journeys with others really helps me to re-live it. To walk them through it with as much detail as I can remember really helps me to re-live the journey. I realized that the kaleidoscope was what is known as the “river of sorrow”. I was advised to cross it next time, to stare it down until it changes to something else. It may be a suppressed memory I need to be aware of in order for healing to take place.
I came to the realization that the shaman’s icaros sounds frightening because they are meant for to help me face my fears. That is the only way I will truly have no fear and to become fearless. I was not in danger, I felt no pain. Next time I will stare into the river of sorrows, I will face my fears in order to realize I have nothing to fear. This after all is my journey to become “fearless”.
The following night I had a dream that I was meditating with a woman teacher, she was wearing a blue robe. I remembered during the meditation I opened my eyes and saw a blue crystal floating in front of me. I heard her voice say “this is yours” then I woke up. I now use this crystal as a visual tool when meditating. It has helped me to focus and to clean my aura and the auras of others during healing ceremony. I am so thankful for this spiritual gift of healing and I love to share it with others. A’ ho

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Shamanic Medicine Journey #3 Aftermath

Shamanic Medicine Journey #3 Aftermath

After the ceremony the facilitators offered anybody who wanted to stay overnight near the circle where the ceremony was held or go back to their tents/huts. I felt the need to stay overnight near the circle. As close to the sacred fire as possible. This fire burned for the first ceremony and didn’t go out until the very last ceremony of the weekend.

There were some volunteers who camped around the fire also. We talked about our previous experiences and they informed me about other ways to journey into the spirit realm. They informed me of the basics of a “vision quest” in which the participant spends 4 days alone in nature with no food or water. This vision quest helped them to connect with Pachamama (Mother Earth) and the Universe and their ancestors on a deeper level by totally depending on “spirit” for survival. This was practiced by their ancestors for hundreds of years and they wished to reclaim that spiritual practice.

I talked with the volunteers about my journeys with plant medicine and they shared some of their journeys as well. They helped me to really integrate my journey I had that day. They challenged me to revisit my fears that I met along the journey and to look at what really happened without judgment.

After integrating for a while we all laid down around the fire. There was no roof overhead; it was just us, nature and the stars. I will admit I was a little nervous about sleeping in the wilderness without any shelter. I was afraid that wild animals or poisonous insects may attack us when we were sleeping. When I brought that thought to the attention of the volunteers, they chuckled and one of them said “if Pachamama wants to harm you, then nowhere is safe.” They all seemed to be in agreement and laid down. Another volunteer said “remember this is sacred land” and rolled over to go to sleep with a smile.

I laid there with my eyes open and thought about what was said. I realized that my belief in Pachamama was about to be tested. I thought to myself “how could they be so sure that they are safe?” I thought of home and my house. I thought of how I would be safe in my home behind my walls and locked doors. Then I thought about the reality of that statement. I realized that home is an illusion, society is an illusion. We may feel safer in society but according to the facts, one is more likely to be harmed by another human in society than by an animal in the wilderness. The truth is animals tend to avoid humans and especially fire.

I had to come to the realization that these journeys I go on are not metaphorical, spiritual retreats. This is a sacred spiritual practice and it is serious. We get faced with the challenge of perceiving Earth as an intelligent being who loves us or an unintelligent planet with no spirit like science teaches to us as children.

If I lived on a planet with no spirit then I would lay there in fear of anything that can creep out of the trees and attack me. If I lived on an intelligent being that loves me, then I could close my eyes and go to sleep knowing that Pachamama is real and she does love me. She will not allow any harm to come to me because she is the “queen of the forest” the creator of all organic life and the animals and creatures will not attack if she does not allow it.

If I was to tell you all my fears went away at that point I would be lying. Although I did feel more at ease, I made sure the fire was blazing nice and bright and added more logs to the fire pit. I thanked the sacred fire for it’s warmth and light and laid down. I stared at the stars that were glowing very bright in the dark night’s sky. I took a moment to take it all in and think of the greatness of the Universe. I thought about how the Universe is also alive and intelligent. I thought about the worlds that may be near the stars I’m looking at and how those worlds may be other living beings similar to Pachamama. I then went to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the realization that I was not in a shelter. I freaked out a little bit with any sound I heard from the trees and bushes. Fear came over me at times it was overwhelming. At any point I could have walked back to the tent to “safety” but I wanted to challenge myself to do something I have never done. Put my trust in Pachamama with no shelter.

Just when I was about to throw in the towel and go back to my “comfort zone” I heard snoring coming from the volunteers. I thought to myself “how could they be so comfortable?” I then sensed a presence near me. It was between me and the volunteer. It felt like a “Bear spirit” it was not threatening it seemed calm but alert. I felt another presence near another volunteer. This was a “panther spirit” it too was not threatening. I did not see these spirits, I felt them. Words cannot explain how I knew but I just had a “knowing”. I guess it can be understood as the 6th sense.

I felt very protected. I felt like somehow I was in the presence of family. Like a child who can go to sleep knowing his family is watching over him. I’m not sure if these spirits were mine or the volunteers or both. What if somehow we share the same ancestors? I won’t claim to know the answer to that. This time I felt very safe and went to sleep.

I woke up again but this time I was not afraid. I looked up and saw that some of the stars were moving. Some moved fast and some moved slowly. Some changed their speed from fast to slow and the opposite as well. I then saw some lights that looked more like they were moving from one tree to another. I stared at these lights for a while but for some reason I could not stay awake and I dozed off. As I was falling back to sleep I heard a male’s voice say “We all must return back to God.”

I then heard a buzzing sound in my ear; it was like a radio speaker turning to a different channel. I woke up and placed another log on the fire. I thanked Pachamama, Wakan  Tanka (Universal Creator) then went to sleep until morning. I knew I was on sacred land and that my ancestors were with me and I felt so safe. I felt like I was home. A’ho



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Recent MJ Shamanic Ceremony

Recently I had a shamanic ceremony with cannabis oil. I started out by smudging and creating sacred space with the blessing of Mother Earth, Father Sky, Universal Creator, my loving ancestors and all loving entities we removed all negative energy. I was the only human present but it was a team effort. After I felt at peace, I inhaled the medicine breathing it directly to my "sacral chakra" put on a blindfold and ear plugs and layed down.

I could feel my body getting lighter and lighter, I felt tingling on my forehead which spread out throughout my entire body. As I relaxed more and more I could feel my body going to sleep paralysis. I could see nothing but darkness however I felt many things. I felt something crawling up my leg like a bug. I've been fooled before with that feeling. I told my self even if it was a bug, waking up and startling it would make it bite me anyway so I just let it crawl up my leg and tried to ignore it. Eventually it disappeared or flew away. I felt a pressure pushing upward on my belly like as if I was going to purge. I have felt this way before with another journey but I woke up that time thinking that I caught a fever. This time I told my self to ride it out and see where it takes me. So I did.

I felt a very heavy presence, like a boulder being placed on top of me. I pictured myself being caught between 2 plates of Earth. I could feel the purge moving closer a up my chest. I was getting worried but I silently chanted "quiet your mind and look through the Veil." I chanted this over and over until I felt better. I willingly accepted the purge going past my chest and when it got to my throat the purge vanished. It was like I had to give off a huge belch but with no sound. My mouth opened and that was it.

Suddenly the heaviness turned off and my body started to feel like a balloon filled with helium that had it's string released. I was feeling higher and higher. I was convinced that I had left my body but I saw nothing. I focused more on the veil hoping to see my guides or someone but I saw nothing. All I could hear was my heartbeat so I focused on that. I knew that as long as I'm breathing and my heart is beating, I'm ok. My inhales and exhales were getting very long but my heart was steady. I tried to change up my breathing a little to see if my heartbeat would change also but it did not. I just reminded myself "you feel no pain and your breathing fine, your heart is beating steady, you are in no danger, do not fear." I just stayed there listening to my heart for a while. I felt like I was in :"The Void" because I could not see anything, no entities, no colors, nothing but darkness.

I then heard birds, the birds were very faint at first, I thought that they were just the usual birds in my garden but the birds got louder like they were in my sacred space. I could hear them flying by me flapping their wings. I realized their wings sounded like fast moving heartbeats. I heard my heart beating and I felt when my heart beat I had a pull in my back. I then thought. "Is this my heart I'm hearing or are these wings?" Could I possibly have wings in this dimension?" I then saw lights glowing off in a far distance and I could see them getting closer until they were right in front of my face. The lights were swirling with each-other like a dance of glowing faded paint. I watched for a while but I did feel the journey coming to an end. I felt my 3D body regaining control and the sleep paralysis wearing off. I was still aware of everything in both dimensions. I could hear the birds and the wind on Earth but I could still see the glowing lights behind my blindfold. I eventually got up and looked up at the blue sky and just stared for a while I felt like doing some tai chi so I did.

During my tai chi I closed my eyes and pictured a blue crystal that one of my guides gave me. It was charging with Earth's energy and it moved as I moved. I was flowing through the postures with the crystal hovering over my hands. After my tai chi session I walked through my garden massaging the plants with the crystal. I then stared at the blue sky some more and saw faces within the clouds. I could faintly see the veil and thousands of tiny light orbs flying around. I then saw one big orb slowly hover into view and stop above me. It stayed for what seemed like a couple minutes then slowly flew away. 

I was filled with gratitude and I thanked Mother Earth, Father Sky, Universal Creator, my loving ancestors and all loving entities for being with me on my journey then I closed the ceremony. -A,Ho

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I've often wondered if we are supposed to have a wonderful experience in ceremony, than why does the shaman's icaros sound so terrifying? Why isn't the music happy and mystical. Why do the shaman look so scary during the ceremony but so friendly before and after? I'm coming to realize that the journey is not meant to be wonderful, the journey is meant to be a process we go through in order to face our fears. This is the metamorphosis we must go through in this lifetime. I learned in my last journey that when I refuse to face this fear it can turn a 4 hour journey into a 12 hour nightmare. Face your fears, find your courage and free yourself.

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Giant Mushroom Foraging


Giant Mushroom Foraging

I dreamed I was in a wide open field with a friend. We noticed that the field we were in was filled with groups of mushrooms that were as big as my arm. My friend wanted to pick them right away and eat them. I told him "don't eat them, they could be dangerous!" I remembered that psilocybin containing mushrooms have black spores. I flipped the mushroom over to look at it's spores and they were light brown. I knew I could not identify the mushroom so I did not eat it. (End of dream)

Looking back if I would have known I was dreaming I may have eaten the mushrooms anyway. I've heard a lecture by Terrance Mckenna where he mentions that if one takes a sacred plant medicine during a dream, they will experience a journey as if they were awake.
I wonder if Lucid dreaming could be a universal loop hole for one to experience a plant medicine which our unreasonable governments have deemed a schedule 1 substance. This is a huge advantage for lucid dreamers. If one knows they are dreaming, one can go seek out a shaman in their dream and take ayahuasca. One can go to a forest and pick magic mushrooms and have an amazing experience. This may be a way of inviting a spirit guide into your dreams. I have recently been researching the link to shamanism that lucid dreaming has.
I've noticed evidence which shows that sacred plant medicine forces one into a lucid dreaming state of mind which is known as "journeying". I'm suggesting that it can also be done the other way around. Dream you are taking plant medicine in your dreams, invite the plant spirits into your dreams, they can teach you things you could never imagine on your own. Ayahuasca is an gentle loving plant spirit teacher, I suggest she would be the first one you seek out. Have fun lucid journeying! Let me know if this works for you. I would love to hear about it. - End


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Cafe in Space

Cafe in Space

About a year ago I was able to remember my dreams very vividly. I've had dreams of surfing gigantic title waves, dueling wizards at a university (hogwarts) and even a dream where I was a jedi in training. I recorded my dreams on my PC in word format.
However one night I had a very strange dream. All I could remember is I was inside some sort of cafe inside of a spacecraft. I was at a counter talking to a ET "tall white" "Jack Skelington" figure. I do not remember what I said or even noticing it's mouth moving. I could see a window behind the ET. It was full of stars and black space. I vaguley remember a ship passing by but It's hard to describe it. I remember it happening but I dont remember what it looked like.
The ET did not seem threatening and in fact it felt like we were old time buddies somehow. It offered me a drink which I took without hesitation, we were in a cafe afterall. I remember a symbol on the side of the cup it was exactly the "Strabucks Coffe" logo.
The moment I swallowed I woke up. The symbol should have been my dream sign because I never drink Starbucks, in fact I boycott them. I think their coffee is disgusting and I know the company is owned by Zionists. Also many dont know this but the symbol logo flipped upside down is Baphomet. (see bottom)

The odd thing is ever since then I have not been able to remember my dreams so vividly and naturally. I have to work at it now and it is still not as vivid or long. Also about a week after I had the dream, my PC word document files were somehow deleted. All my dreams I documented were deleted and I had no backups. This is one of the reasons why I'm starting to log my dreams on it's a great way for us all to learn from eachothers dreams and experiences and it's a good way to back up our files.


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Jedi Training Dream

Jedi Training Dream

A year ago I had a dream that I was with an old man in a long brown robe. It looked very similar to the Jedi robes in "Star Wars". We were climbing over these large rocks that were floating in the sky. The odd thing was is that we were not using our hands to climb. Instead we were climbing by using a bunch of small silver orbs (about the size of a tennis ball) that we would move with "the force". I remembered he kept reminding me to let go with my hands and just to trust the force. When I did concentrate on the force, I could see the orbs attaching to each other like magnets to form steps. They would only last for a few seconds then separate the moment my concentration broke. It was challenging at first but eventually I got the hang of it.

When we finally got to the top of all the large floating rocks, we were on a large plateau that stretched for what seemed like miles. There was a large building with a very large garage door. We went inside and we were greeted by a group of Jedi. One of the Jedi was a tall woman with blonde hair which was was shaped like a cone.
The tall blonde woman was just about to say something when suddenly there was a loud bang! The garage door was blown open and a great suction force was present. One by one the Jedi were being sucked out. The tall blonde woman's hair became unraveled and swirled around the others like a tornado and they were all sucked out the door screaming. I woke up - End


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Lucid dreaming or shamanism?

Lucid dreaming or shamanism?

One thing I have been pondering lately is the question of when one takes a sacred plant medicine to "journey", does the plant give the user the ability to watch themselves fall asleep? When one is practicing OBE or lucid dreaming (Wake induced) it has very similar feelings as ingesting a sacred plant. I find in my own experiences that with a sacred plant, a teacher or being is present. When lucid dreaming, I find many beings, friends or foes are present but no teacher. I'm starting to see it like driving with an instructor or driving on your own.

Going into a dream is going into another dimension. Shamans take a sacred plant medicine like Ayahuasca or Salvia to help them and their patience to "journey" to another realm. In other words the "dream realm". The plant is the guide which takes you there whether you are tired or not. What if the lesson the plants have to teach the patient is how to force your body into REM sleep while the patient is still awake?
Think about the feeling one gets when under an all natural sacred plant medicine.

1. The patient feels very relaxed. (both)
2. The patient starts to feel a vibrating sensation throughout their body. (stage 1 sleep paralysis)
3. The patient's body does not want to move and is somewhat paralyzed, mind is awake ( stage 2 sleep paralysis)
4. DMT is released from the pineal gland and into the blood stream (both)
5. The patient starts to see the pixels in their eyelids start to form colors and flashes of images come and go. (Watching yourself fall asleep or Hynogalgia)
6. The patient is watching images flashing before them in patterns and shapes (stage before dream)
7. The patient feels transported to a realm of beauty and amazing feelings take over the body. The eyes moves back and forth rapidly and the patient is totally aware of everything happening. Everything happening seems real, this is the journey. (Lucid Dreaming)

So is shamanism the practice of lucid dreaming? Or is lucid dreaming shamanism without the sacred plants? Both work in the spirit realm and both can be used for healing. The advantage to taking sacred plant medicine is that the patient remembers all of the journey or dream. So if the patient was to take the lessons from the plants and learn how to watch themselves fall asleep, would the patient remember all of their dream too?

One way to look at sacred plants are that they are beings who go from this realm to the dream realm at will. When we ingest this being we are asking this being to take us there with them. Once we have traveled somwhere enough times we learn how to get there easier. Like driving with a GPS. On the first trip, the driver follows the directions from the GPS to get to the destination. Maybe on the second trip too, but after going to the same destination multiple times, the driver no longer needs the GPS anymore.

Many shamans beleive that the sacred plants are the guides of the maze to the spirit realm. My question is that if one has been through the spirit realm maze enough, is a guide necessary? I see many core shamanic practitioners abuse the sacred plants unintentionally, they don't beleive they can journey without the plant and become totally dependant on the plant. This I beleive can lead to a mental addiction.
I don't beleive the sacred plants want the patient to become addicted. I beleive the plant spirits want to show the patient how to get to the dream realm safely but to also learn how to get there on their own. It's like a teenager's parents want them to eventually drive on their own, but they must learn how to drive safely first.

A shamanic journey is great tool for helping the patient to awaken to their spiritual path. Lucid dreaming and OBEs are how one continues on that spiritual path after the sacred plants, shamans, and hypnotherapists have showed them how. I would encourage everyone to always be thankful to the sacred plants and spirit guides and to meet with them occasionally but to not be totally dependant on them. Once they have shown you how, You can go into the spirit realm at will, You have the ability, it is your spiritual journey. Believe in yourself.-End


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My recent Salvia Journey

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Salvia Ceremony

Jouney 1
I was in the forest with a friend we hiked to a area where we felt safe and somewhat secluded. We smudged ourselves with sage smoke and showed thanks to Mother Earth, the forest we were in and the spirit of the Salvia plant.
When it was my turn I used a small pipe for smoking tobacco or cannabis. I placed a pinch of Purple Salvia in the bowl of the pipe and asked the spirit of the Salvia plant to teach me what I needed to learn. I then lit the bowl and inhaled for 10 seconds and held my breath for 30 seconds then release with a big exhale.
I felt very relaxed and as I layed down I placed my hat over my face and closed my eyes. I saw another face in front of me but it looked like it was behind a dark curtain or veil. I could only see the outline or the basic shape of the face. Then the face turned into tiny particles which floated back into my eye lids. I felt like I could have laid there for another hour but since I had a friend with me, I opened my eyes and ended the journey with a smile. I looked up at the sky and I could see the particles flying back and forth like a swarm of millions of clear flies. - end

Jouney 2
This time I was alone in a tent in my back yard. I used a bong and just a pinch of salvia (enough to just barely fill the bowl of the bong) I smudged my tent with sage and declared it a sacred space. I asked all my most benevolent spirit guides who are on the side of love to be with me. I then told all entities with evil intentions to leave out the door I had opened. After I felt at peace, I closed the door to my tent.
I told the spirit of Salvia that I'm seeking to learn from it and I'm open to what it has to show me. I said "namaste, the spirit within me respects the spirit within you." I then lit the bowl of the bong and inhaled as much smoke as I can forcing the bong to bubble. I held my breath as long as I could and eventually exhaled the smoke out and layed down.
The moment I closed my eyes, I saw a giant pyramid with the eye of provenince on top of it. At first I did not know what to think. "Is this God?" I thought. I was memerized by it's radiance. I then got a feeling of power, like as if this symbol could give me success and riches and my financial struggles would go away. Then I remembered that success, power and riches only matter in the 3D realm and this 3D life is very short compared to eternity. So I stopped being mesmerized and tried to look away.

At the moment I looked away my body started to burn. It felt like I was being hels over a fire pit. I heard a siren go by and I knew I was freaking out. I knew that this eye was trying to punish me for not giving my power to it. I told it "I am on the side of love, I will not give my power to any entity." I then said "I am with Earth energy, I am on the side of Mother Earth".
I then saw a pair of beautiful eyes appear out of the corner of my eyes. They got bigger and brighter and eventually moved to in front of the pyramid. The moment I focused on those eyes I felt love. I felt the burning go away and a soothing, cool feeling came over me. Then it was just the eyes. The eye of provenince faded away like a bad dream. I just stared at the beautiful eyes the rest of my journey. I feel like these are the eyes of the spirit of Salvia or Mother Earth. I felt safe and in the presence of divine love.

I could have ended my journey then but I loved the feeling I was having so I went into a deeper meditative state of mind and prolonged the journey. Eventually the eyes morphed into a bird made of pure light which was flying in front of me. I followed the bird until it disperesed into millions of particle then eventually landed back unto my eye lids.
I smudged with sage and thanked Mother Earth and the Universal creator. I was so thankful that my eyes filled with tears and I felt a deep love for the Earth both in 3D and in spirit. I ended the ceremony and left my tent. When I was leaving I looked up at the sky and I saw her eyes again. I still see her eyes often. I take it as a reminder that she is always with me and watching over me like a mother watches over her child. After all we really are all children of Mother Earth and The Universal Creator. - End


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My first Ayahuasca ceremony


    On November the 14th of 2015 at 9:00am I arrived with 2 friends to a tipi. Inside there was a fire pit surrounded by a circle of people lounging in their sleeping bags and blankets. Near the fire pit there were totems and charms made of natural materials around the edges and crystal medicine wheels on the stumps. There was a pleasant aroma in the air made of pine, sage and other incense. The facilitator's or what I will call the "Shaman" and the apprentices (also called grandmothers) greeted us with warm hugs and smiles. I was shown to my spot where I rolled out my sleeping bags and sat down. Unfortunately I was near the door so it was very cold so I crawled into my sleeping bag and waited for the experience to begin. It seems weird but somehow everybody seemed familiar to me even though I don't recall ever seeing any of them before. There were even international participants from Spain, Germany and England and they still looked familiar to me.
    After everybody arrived (about 20 participants) a man entered the room with a burning abalone shell. He walked around the circle and smudged everyone with sage smoke. The shaman passed around native tobacco (chemical free) to smoke during the smudging. He said it helps with the cleansing process. I had some and it smelled wonderful, like a cigar without toxins. I couldn't tell if it was cleansing me but I did feel more relaxed.
    After the smudging was complete, a Sacred plant vine was passed around and we each gave a reason why we decided to journey that day. When I had the vine I shared about my desire to meet the spirit of the Earth. The shaman then gave us some guidelines then they brought out the medicine.
    Every participant walked forward one at a time to receive the medicine. When I came forward to take the medicine the shaman poured it in a small cup and I drank it like a shot of alcohol. I did not want to taste it because i've been told it is the worst tasting thing to drink. Actually in my honest opinion it was not that bad. I've had worse. I then went back to my sleeping bag and sat down like normal. It appeared that everybody else did the same.
    After everyone had their dose, the shaman and apprentices started to drum, sing and dance in a circle around the fire. I didn't feel any different but I wanted a spiritual experience so I started to meditate like I normally do. I felt at peace and I really enjoyed the music being played. I was getting really hot so I took off all my jacket and hat.
    I closed my eyes and minutes later I started to see an odd pattern forming behind my eyelids. I thought I was imagining it so I opened my eyes and the pattern was gone. I closed my eyes again and seconds later the pattern formed. I stared at the pattern more and realized it was the "flower of life " pattern that I've seen during my sacred geometry research. As I kept staring the "flower of life" then started to pulse and spin slowly.
    At this point I could hear other participants "purging" or cleansing by vomiting and crying. I felt a little motion sickness but not enough to vomit. I suddenly had to pee so I asked an apprentice to take me to the outhouse. After I was finished the apprentice asked me how I was feeling so I told him "I see flowers when I close my eyes but that is all." He smiled then he recommended to take another dose when the shaman offers again. I went back to the tipi and layed down on my sleeping bag.
    The man next to me seemed to be having a great journey. He kept saying "it's so beautiful and amazing." Moments later he started shouting "woo" and "yay" and laughing. His reactions to the medicine was encouraging to me. I closed my eyes and the flowers immediately appeared but this time the pattern was much more defined and it was pulsing, spinning and waving from side to side. At this point I was getting really nauseated so I opened my eyes to get the motion sickness to stop but this time the flower pattern was still there. It was all around the tipi, anywhere where light was shining.
    My thoughts started to get scary. I told my self that this was all a mistake and I should have never taken the medicine. I told myself that these people a part of a cult and they are just messing with my weak state of mind. This is a scam! I heard my wife telling me "your putting yourself in a very vulnerable and dangerous situation, your going off to the woods to meet with people you don't know and taking a strange drug which alters your mind!" (This was an actual conversation I actually had with my wife the night before.) I felt very regretful for my poor decision.
    So there I was with my own thoughts and I told myself "if they find out your not on a journey, they will force you to drink more or worse." I told myself to "act the part" I convinced myself that I can just throw up and act like I'm journeying and just ride it out without suspicion. I also wanted whatever I just drank to leave my body. I bent over my purge bucket and just stared at it trying not to draw attention to myself.
    As I was on all fours hunched over my purge bucket, I could hear other participants purging horrifying sounds. It sounded like an exorcist was happening with the man on the other side of me. The shaman's rattle was getting louder and every time it shook I could feel my spine vibrate. I really thought these so called "shaman" were messing with us and they had foul intentions. I then heard a lady purge with a horrifying screeching sound. Like a demon was trying to hold on as she was purging it.
    At this point I was feeling very sick and I really wanted to vomit but when I tried to purge, nothing would come out so I just stayed there on all fours staring at my bucket. I felt helpless, I couldn't vomit and I couldn't leave, my regret was building up more and more and my fear was multiplying. I couldn't do anything to help the situation. I then remembered a lady talked about how she purged by crying. So I tried to do so. I thought of my family and how I abandoned them to come to this stupid circle. I thought of how I may never see them again. Then I felt the regret fill my eyes and I started crying really bad. I cried like I just had the biggest heart ache happen at that moment. I cried like I haven't cried in years. It actually felt good to let myself do so. After I stopped crying I tried to vomit but nothing still would come out. I felt a pain on the left side of my lower back, it felt like a cue ball was in my kidney. I was afraid to tell anybody because I thought they would try to cut it out with a knife even though there were no sharp objects even present.
    Moments later I felt a warm hand caress down my spine. Another hand touched my forehead and cheeks then landed on my heart. I heard a woman's soft voice say "you need to surrender"  she then snapped her fingers on each of my ears and said "surrender" softly. She placed her hand back on my heart and said "in here, you need to surrender, just let it go." Her voice very soft and loving, not forceful at all, however I'm not sure what she meant. Did she mean for me to let my heart go? for me to allow myself to die? "Hell no, I'm not giving up!" I thought. She stayed with me with her hand on my chest and after a while I realized my heart was racing really fast. I was freaking out and I needed to slow my heart beat back down. The only way I knew how to do that was by breathing slow deep breaths so that is what I did. Once my heartbeat was back to normal I felt the warm hand leave my chest. I heard the man next to me say "just surrender, it's amazing!" but when I looked at him it appeared he was not speaking to me. His eyes were closed and he was still on a journey.
    After failing at purging I went back to kneeling and I tried to meditate and keep my heart beat slow and steady. I kept my breath slow and steady. The flower of life pattern was very vibrant and pulsing. The colors would change from violet to pink to white. Eventually the flower of life pattern faded and four grey aliens (greys like Roswell style) appeared in front of me. I didn't sense any evil or good intentions, they were just there. They were just looking at me with no expressions on their faces. Their skin was white and smooth with no wrinkles. They had oval, slanted, black eyes with no iris visible. They didn't appear to have a nose but instead just 2 small slits. Their mouths were small with no expression. I could only see them from the neck up. I could not feel any of them touching me if they were. They did not move their heads or look like they were communicating in any way that I could tell. They never looked away from me and they never blinked.
    I then saw their faces fade away and a pattern of skulls and voodoo masks took their place. The pattern started pulsing and spinning. This made me very nauseated and I really needed to vomit so I grabbed my bucket and let it go. This time I vomited a lot, it felt like I was emptying my belly of everything. However when I looked down into my bucket I didn't see that much vomit. Instead I saw a bunch of tiny black ants crawling within some orange liquid. I vomited again or "purged" and this time there was what looked like a bunch of black spiders bunched up inside the bucket.
    My nausea did not go away but I felt like I had nothing else left in my belly to vomit so I laid down. I noticed my heart was racing again so I continued to breath slowly and deeply. I felt my heart slowing down but this time it was getting too slow. I started to get really cold so I put on every layer of sleeping bags, jackets and blankets I had. I started to shiver really bad and I felt colder and colder. I felt my face lips go numb.
    The music was getting more intense. There was a lot more rattling and the drums were beating faster. My mind started freaking out again. I heard that there were more exorcisms and they were getting worse. I remember hearing a shaman forcefully pour medicine down a mans throat and hearing him gargle but it actually did not happen. I saw a woman get up and run out the tipi and a apprenticed sprinted after her.  I thought I saw my friends leave without me, laughing at me while sneaking out. Later I found out that these were all illusions and mis understandings. I will get to that later. I then saw an apprentice point in my direction so I closed my eyes and smiled acting like I was on a good journey to avoid detection. I heard a shaman ask a woman if she wanted more medicine and she said yes but a lower voice came out from her and shouted no! Whatever was inside of her did not want to be purged and it was verbally expressing it. Eventually she did drink another cup and purged with a horrifying grunting noise.
    While I layed there with my eyes closed and a fake smile on my face thinking I was fooling the shaman. I started to feel my smile being stretched further and further apart. Then I felt my nose and cheeks stretching and eventually it felt like my face was melting. However I felt no pain. Soon after I felt some force pulling my spirit like a vacuum was trying to pull my spirit out of my body. I tried with all my mental strength to keep my spirit in my body. Every time I would tell myself "I'm not ready to go. I don't want to die!" I then heard my self asking me "why not?" while still pulling on my spirit. I said "I love my family, I love my beautiful wife and my kids I don't want to lose them!" Then I heard myself saying "if you love your family so much then why do you not listen to them when they speak?" I was speechless. "you don't respect any of your in laws "you can't wait for the house to be empty so you can have "me time." "you don't listen to your wife when she asks you to do something or when she wants to tell you about her day." "You don't acknowledge your kids when they show you their toys and art and what's important to them." "you don't acknowledge your family, you don't give them the attention they deserve. If that is your purpose to keep living then why live at all?" I was speechless.
    I then saw images of my kids showing me their stuff and me not acknowledging them, of me not taking my eyes off my computer screen to look at their art and their toys. I saw my youngest daughter tugging on my arm wanting to show me her teddy bear but me not turning around to acknowledge her. I saw my wife telling me about her day but instead of paying attention to what she was saying I would just nod my head and watch her words go in one ear and out the other while my mind was somewhere else.
    Then I was shown their disappointment on their faces. I could see their hurt in their eyes. I literally felt their pain and sorrow. I could feel them questioning their importants to their dad and husband. I could literally feel their hurt.I could see that although I was physically there, I was not mentally and spiritually there for them.
    I felt the pulling of my spirit happening more and the skull and voodoo masks pattern appear much more vivid and scarier. They were bright green and purple and they were pulsating more powerful and faster than before. I really felt like I was going to die. I shouted in my head No!, I'm sorry, please forgive me!" I broke out into tears and I was balling like a baby. This kept repeating over and over and I felt like I wasn't able to hold on to my spirit much longer but I kept shouting "forgive me! I'm so so sorry!" "Please please give me a 2nd chance!"
    After a while the pulling got weaker and weaker until it eventually stopped. The skull pattern faded and the flower of life pattern appeared and my face stopped melting.
    I heard what I thought was a cat meowing multiple times. I started to hear harp music and my nausea was fading. I sat up and looked around, the flower of life pattern was still visible but was faded. I saw that mostly everyone was out of their journey and staring at the flames dance in the fire pit. One man shouted "No!" in horror, it seemed that he was still on his journey. An apprentice wrapped a blanket around him and held a crystal orb to his chest. He stopped screaming but continued his journey with the help of the apprentice and the shaman.
    I sat there and stared at the fire. I noticed that when I would looked at any organic object, I would see traces of light outlining it's edges. The light was white and gold. When I looked at people's faces, I could see glowing lines under their skin. Like their blood vessels were glowing with white light. One of the ladies had a face like a "wood elf". She was the apprentice holding the crystal orb to the man's chest.
    Moments later everyone was out of their journey and we were served veggie soup. When I was eating my soup one of the shaman approached me and asked about my journey. I told her about a lady's voice and a hand on my heart. She explained to me that it was she that saw my heart was out of place and that she was guided to put it back in it's correct position. I didn't know what to think at the time but I thanked her for helping me. Another participant had a question for her so she was pulled away from me.
    I went back inside the tipi and we each shared a small summary of our journeys. The shaman officially closed the ceremony and we were all given the ok to leave whenever we felt it was safe. They also offered for anybody to stay the night in the tipi which many ended up doing. The rest of the night was spent talking to each other about our journeys in greater detail and giving lots of hugs while sipping hot cinnamon tea. I talked to some apprentices about my journey. I asked if a lady had ran out the tent and the apprentice told me "there was a woman who walked out but she was not running. We caught up to her to check on her and see if she was feeling ok, eventually she did come back inside." I told her that I heard somebody run after the lady. She said "that was my daughter running to get more paper towels." There was a young girl there and I found out later that it was she that was making the meow sound which I thought was a cat. She was just bored apparently she has been to many "circles" and healing ceremonies. I asked about the shaman forcing somebody to drink. She said "we would never force anybody to drink, we will help and assist if the participant asks but they always have the choice to swallow."
    I asked about the exorcisms going on and she explained to me that many participants have trouble purging on a spiritual level. Some have deep blockages and when these blockages become healed they often manifest and try to prevent the purge. These blockages are many times issues in somebody's life that can prevent their conscience from expanding.
    I asked about the screeching and grunting noise. She said that many times our spirit animal will show us our inner power and often times it can manifest it's sounds. This is a good thing because our spirit animals are guides to help us expand our consciousnesses. There are other noises that happen when somebody purges and sometimes these are the sounds of the blockage being purged. Many noises are heard when somebody vomits. Depending on with what part of the body the blockage is coming from the esophagus opens in many different ways to allow the vomit and many times the voice box gets in the way as a last defense from preventing the purge. Many times the horrifying sound is the voice box opening oddly. This happens especially when a person is not relaxed and tries to fight the purge.
    On a spiritual level when the person's spirit wants to heal a wound, the entity attached to the wound will resist and manifest. It will try to take over the person's mind in order to prevent the purge. This is normally the person's unhealthy portion of the ego.
    I spoke to some others about their journeys, the man next to me whom I mentioned earlier, in his journey he was on a wave of sound surfing the cosmos. Another lady who made the screeching noise while purging felt the power of her spirit animal. Another woman met her "star family" and many of the participants saw sacred geometry like myself. A man I talked to was transported to a "mountain of knowledge" and he had a deep conversation with the Earth spirit.
    I gave my 2 friends Danielle and Greg a warm loving hug but it didn't feel like I was hugging them but instead the spirit of the Earth was hugging them through me. It turns out that they did not leave. My mind was using an illusion on me to get me to leave the tipi and to not get healed. They both had some amazing experiences and they were both happy to participate. I gave everybody hugs. I wanted to hug and talk to everybody I've never met before but I felt connected to them all. I felt that we all went on a journey together and we pulled through. Everyone I talked to had healing done and everyone seemed happy. I wanted to stay the night at the tipi but I also wanted to get home to my loved ones.
    Eventually  once I felt sober enough I gave everyone one last loving hug and said good bye to everyone. My friends and I  packed up our stuff in our cars and drove home. When I got home I gave my wife the most loving heart felt hug I've ever given before. Like as if I was gone for a year in a land far away. I could sense the divine feminine within her. My kids were asleep but I watched them sleep for a moment just enjoying their beauty and enjoying their creation I felt so blessed to be their father. I appreciated them very much but I didn't want to wake them. I just wanted to hug everyone and show them my love and appreciation. I wanted everyone to know that I loved them but I was taking them for granted and that I was sorry.
    When we finally went to bed, the flower of life would appear whenever I closed my eyes. I noticed that my heart was starting to race again and the pain in my back returned. I remembered to breath deeply and slowly. Eventually my heart went back to normal. I would then imagine the spirit of the earth sending healing energy to me. This calmed my brain down enough to sleep.
    The next morning I felt wonderful. I desired to make breakfast for everyone so I made pancakes. Throughout the day I would feel chills shooting up my spine to the back of my head. I was very happy and very aware. I had a deep desire to show love and respect to every being whether it was human, animal, plant or rock. I even wanted to talk to my neighbor which I've never wanted to before. I could feel the Earth's energy flowing through my feet to my heart. Colors were more vibrant and the air smelled fresher. I was so happy to be alive. I spent quality time with my kids all day. My older daughter whom usually watches TV and youtube all day didn't even turn on the TV. She wanted to play with her little sister and spend time with me. We put together puzzles and played with her toys. Later that night we did watch a family movie but it was a comedy with decent morals. We really just enjoyed laughing together and being together as a family cuddling on the couch.
    When I went to work the next day I felt that it was a lot easier than usual even though I had more tasks assigned to me then usual. I had a constant smile on my face and I said hi to co-workers which I usually try to avoid. It seemed that my happiness was making others around me happier. I saw work as service to humanity instead of a task that needs to be done.
    I believe the spirit of the Earth changed my frequency and in doing so changed my desires so that I wanted others to be happy over my own selfish desires. It appeared that anybody else who came into my space also had their frequency changed. Nobody had a rude comment or a snarky attitude. Nobody teased and made foul jokes like they normally do either. (I work on construction site) Normally I'm surrounded by rudeness and selfishness but not that day.
    I believe that this is the secret that has been kept from the common people for thousands of years by financially powerful bloodlines and the military industrial complex. This is how to change the world. Frequency is the key.
    The sacred plants are used as vessel which dulls down our ego which controls our mind and hardens our hearts. These plants make a person super aware and notice things which the mind usually ignores on a daily bases. The sacred plants help us to connect with the Earth on a spiritual and physical level so we can understand that we are living on a living being whom has a spirit of it's own. The spirit of the Earth has been given many names by men but I do not know which one is correct or if they all are correct. I choose not to give it a sexual orientation although many see the Earth spirit as a mother because of the fact that we get our nutrients and all our needs are supplied by her. When we connect with the Earth spirit we realize that it is love, it changes humans from logical beings that think methodically and mathematically to beings of love respect and creation. It softens our hearts and makes us realize we are all one of the Earth's creations. It helps us to realize that no grudge, no attitude, no ill feelings are worth having. It removes our desires to hate.
    This is why these plants have been banned from the western world. All is revealed during a journey. If everyone realized we are all one they would not want to fight in wars because they would realize that they would be killing a part of themselves. There would be no religion because everyone would realize we are created from the Earth. There would be no doubt because all would experience the Earth spirit for themselves. They would see the Earth spirit and feel it's presence with their own body. There would be no terrorists or religious extremists, there would be no Zionism.
     Nobody would want to make laws that divide the population from each other. Our structured society of borders and laws would be abolished because nobody would have any use for them. Nobody would want to work all day for a purpose they don't believe in. There would no capitalism or communism or even patriotism because the world would not be divided by country's and borders.
    Nobody would have the desire to hate. Nobody would want to take poisonous pharmaceuticals and force vaccines on it's population. Doctors would be replaced my nutritionalists and shamans. Nobody would want to to harm animals and engorge themselves on meat.
    Nobody would want to use oil because it harms the Earth. Energy would be free and plenty because knowledge would not be hidden. Nobody would have their inventions stolen or banned from the public. Nobody would desire money because there would be no need for it because everybody would have realized that the Earth provides all of it. Our structured society of borders and laws would be abolished because nobody would have any use for them. Land grabbing would not be a desire because we would all share the same land and live on it together. There would be no rent because there would be no land lords. Owning something, somebody and someplace would not be a concept. We would not have to pay to live.
    This is why religion and structured law abuse known as government have deemed the sacred plants illegal because the biggest threat to our failed society is a conscientiously aware population which matches the vibration of the Earth. When all secrets are revealed, it leaves no room for a structure built upon secret societies, black projects and plans hidden from the public.
    There is a war which has been going on for thousands of years. A war on human consciousness. The evil side seeks to rob the Earth of all it's resource and to rule over an enslaved population of humans and Artificial Intelligence.
    The good side desires to raise the frequency of all human beings to resonate on the same frequency as Earth. This makes it possible to live in a world of peace and harmony with nature and each other. If only a portion of the human population would raised their frequency to match Earth's, than those around them would have their frequency raised also, even without their own intention to do so, their spirit would respond. The desire for greed and power would not exist. It would be eradicated. All there would be is Love. Love is a very powerful force. It is what makes the most wonderful decisions become reality. Decisions to create, to cleanse, to unite, to communicate, to seek knowledge, to desire selfless ambitions, to harvest, to explore, to journey, to teach, to forgive and most of all to Love. I choose a world of peace and most of all,


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∞ Open Your Eyes to Reclaim Your Prize ∞